Saturday, August 28, 2010

July... what a month!

Where have I been and what have I been doing? Gosh – many answers… but much fun was had!I wanted to start with a picture of the street I have known very well for the past year. I say goodbye to it at the end of this post...
Good Ol' "W" Street in Washington DC
and to this house... after I tell you what I have
been up to for the month of July!

July was a very filled month with a very active job search, decisions to me made in many areas of my life, nannying full-time while also helping their family prepare to move, mucho car problems, preparing for and beginning my five weeks of travel… and lots and lots of F-U-N!


Activities with the kids:

I take a little pride in the activities I come up with for the kids to enjoy! I am a firm believer of getting out of the house, away from TV and Wii and learning about or exploring the world around us!


It was STINKIN’ HOT for most of June and July… and the trend is continuing for August... so I am glad I got out! Brutal almost with the humidity. Even the pool wasn’t fun to be at on some days because of the weather. So, I looked for many indoor activities and this is what I found:


House of Bounce!! Love this place and the kids did too. A large room filled with 8 or so different bounce structures.

J being silly
The kids hanging on for dear life
and, relaxing at the end of a slide

Another favorite was the Maryland Museum of Science in Baltimore. This place was INCREDIBLE. I have been to a few science museums in the US and this one tops it all. I loved it and the kids did too. There were so many activities for them and they were really engaging for all of us! I only wish I had discovered it earlier so we could have gone a few times before they moved to Boston. In one exhibit we held these flashlights and moved them as quickly as we could for a minute. This is the picture we created!



Next, I had the boys for a weekend while their parents were away so we did a lot of fun things… like an Eastern Market Saturday morning breakfast, bowling (with Evan, Madison and my mom too!), and then I took them to the Luray Caverns in Virginia. I remember seeing these caverns with my dad on a family vacation when I was probably 8 or 9! They were amazing!


A little history of the caverns can be found here:


Here are some pics from the caverns.

We were given these headsets and you could choose the adult version to listen to as you walked through the caverns or the kid version. The adult version was interesting and thorough, but the kid version was entertaining and FUN to listen to. I enjoyed both and the kid version kept their attention for the hour we were in the cave!


This is a picture of the stalactites

reflecting on the water below.

and, more of the same.
I thought they were so cool!







This was ONE huge one...
hard to tell in the darkness in the cave though!
Well, they also have other attractions… like this old car show, which was filled with life-size dolls. It reminded me a lot of my grandmother who was a HUGE doll collector! The boys went through and chose the car they wanted. They have nice taste!


It was a HOT day but they still wanted to do the Garden Maze there as well. Ugh… I still have nightmares from when I was probably 6 or 7 and my mom and dad sent me through a mirror maze on the Boardwalk in Ocean City, NJ. Of course she sent my older brother and I in together, but he immediately left me!! I wandered for a bit in the mirror maze, but panicked that I would never find my way out and just sat down and cried and cried. Of course, the attendant and my mom immediately ran into the maze to get me and take me out, but I remember the fear and panic I felt while being stuck in there! Needless to say, I was not very excited for the garden maze. It wasn’t mirrors, but still a frustrating process. And, it was HOT. Fortunately they had these water spray things you could walk through, so I did my best to put a smile on my face and get excited for the boys! We made it through!!! Much to my relief.


It was such a great and fun place to visit… and just a perfect weekend with the boys!


Amidst camps, packing, and everything that comes with moving, we hit the pool on days that it wasn’t too brutal out. Here are a few pictures of Jeremiah just enjoying himself! He HATED the water last summer and it was torture to get him to try and learn how to swim, but this past summer he was a fish and didn’t want to get out!!




Celebrating in the pool (above) and being a fish (below!)

Their family also had a very unique opportunity to have a family picture taken with President Obama as a thank you to David for working for almost two years in his position. I helped get everyone ready, so we took some pictures before they left for the White House! The boys were very excited they had gone shopping with their dad and had gotten REAL suitcoats, shirts and Leo even got a real tie that he had to have his dad show him how to tie because I had no idea! So precious!


I thought this picture was so funny.
Just looking at Leo's eyes and Cecilia's face.
I think I caught them off guard!
This one was much better though!
And, I had to get one with the boys in their suits!
So cute!!

Well, the last week the kids were in DC, we really crammed in a lot. They wanted to see all their friends so we did lot of large group playdates, but I had also promised Leo for his birthday in May that I would take him to Six Flags this summer… and we were running out of time! But, on Monday of that week we went to Six Flags America. It was perfect for the two boys, because Leo doesn’t like things that go too fast and Jeremiah doesn’t like things that go too high! So, they played well together in the two little kids areas and we spent most of our time at the huge water park they had there!






Jeremiah had a few really good friends, but he seemed to particularly like Gabe, and to be honest, I REALLY liked Gabe as well! He is a good little kid and he and Jeremiah got along really well. It made my job as a babysitter MUCH easier when they were together because they just had fun and basically entertained themselves!


Well, my last adventure with the boys was to drive them to NYC to meet up with their grandparents for a few days. This allowed their mom and dad to finish with the movers packing up their house, then travel to Boston with the movers and hopefully unpack before their grandparents arrived with all three of them! (Cecilia had been at a sleepaway camp for three weeks so that’s why it was mostly pictures of me and the boys and then her grandparents picked her up the day after I dropped the boys off!)


Well, as luck would have it we left DC on Thursday morning with the idea we would stop in downtown Philly for a couple of hours to see the Liberty Bell etc and then head up to NYC before nighttime… BUT their grandparent’s flight was canceled allowing the boys and I to spend a longer day in Philly and then the evening and night with my mom just outside of the city! It was such a great visit! It’s been so long since I’ve been to see the historic section of Philly and it was great to experience it again with the boys who had never seen it!


One thing I love about the boys, especially Leo, is HOW interested he is in learning new things! He’s got a very curious mind and LOVES gathering new information whether it is science, sports, history, or really ANYTHING! He’s so fun to take anywhere because he loves doing something new and he just LOVES to learn!


So, we basically did it all. We saw the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, and the Constitution Museum…. And GOT REAL CHEESESTEAKS! They loved seeing people dressed up as colonists, and learning about the people who were so influential in shaping our nation!


At the Constitution Museam where you could pretend you were on TV!


Leo was so excited to SEE THE CRACK and learn all about it!

They also thought it was cool to have their picture taken with George Washington (above) and Benjamin Franklin (below) since we had learned so much about that that day!
A picture of Independence Hall!
And, (one of the) famous cheesesteak places in the city! YUM!
It was the boys first cheesesteak!

After our day there, we drive to good ol’ Audubon! It was fun showing the boys where I lived and they always have fun joking around and playing with my mom! We had my favorite Genuardi’s pizza dinner… followed by dessert at one of my favorite ice cream places that I knew the boys would LOVE! Zwahlens!! We each got a good amount of ice cream and then took pictures outside the store by their beautiful flowers on a gorgeous summer evening. Oh – I just love these boys! It was also just so great to see my mom as well!


Me and my ANGEL mother :)


The next morning we left early for NYC. The boys were great with all the driving because Leo is not a big fan of it. He was such a good big brother to Jeremiah too and kept him entertained a bit while we drove. He also decided it would be good to rest for part of the trip since he knew we’d be doing a lot when we got to NYC later that morning. I love how he thinks through things in advance and tries to make the best decision. He seeks advice from adults, but mostly he makes the right decision on his own! And, when he gets corrected for something he’s done that’s wrong, he talks it through with you and really tries hard to do things right the next time. I’ve even caught him a few times about to do something he knew he shouldn’t and he’ll STOP and think out loud why that’s not a good choice! It’s so great to see!! He really listens to the adults in his life and really tries to be the best he can be!


Jeremiah, on the other hand, is a work in progress! He likes to test the waters a bit more than Leo, but “my little buddy” tries hard and has a great role model for an older brother!


Back to the story… now we were off to NYC. The drive was good until we got near the city. Now, I don’t consider myself a timid driver what so ever, but even I got white knuckled driving in downtown Manhattan. Ha – there seemed to BE no driving laws that were followed. You want to go through a red light – OK. You want to just cut in front of someone with inches to spare – OK. You want to cross three lanes of congested traffic in a matter of seconds and have everyone stop for you – OK! UGH!! It was CRAZY! But, we had to get to the Lincoln Center because we were staying in a hotel there. (Also, I love staying here with their grandparents because it’s in a great location… but also we can see the Manhattan LDS temple from our hotel room window because it’s only two blocks away!)


We arrived safely, but with traffic in the city, it was later than I had planned. It was still OK though because their grandparents hadn’t gotten in until about 3 AM and were exhausted. We unloaded and chilled for about an hour in the room, but then it was off to explore the city!


It was a remarkably beautiful and cool day. Temps over the past few weeks had been EXTREMELY HOT and HUMID, but this day was pretty cool (80 ish) and there was a breeze, so it was very nice walking in a city type of day! We set off walking about ten blocks for some hotdogs at one of their favorite local restaurants in the city, and then took a cab to the empire state building! AWESOME!!


We decided to do this combo tour that first showed you a 3D movie where the platform you were seated on actually moved and it felt like you were moving with the movie. Meaning, the movie was a helicopter flying through the streets of NYC showing all the highlights and giving an explanation about each place. So while we were seated there, we also felt every jolt, twist and turn of the helicopter! Pretty cool!


Then it was off to the top of the building. We waited a bit to take the elevator up to the 80th floor and from there you can either walk up six flights of stairs or wait to take another elevator! The boys were DONE waiting in line, so we all walked up six flights. WELL worth it! We got to the top and it was absolutely STUNNING! I took pictures of all four sides and can’t remember which side was which in each picture, but here they are. I know in the pictures there is the Chrysler Building… and central park, but OH – I can’t remember the rest. Without my GPS and an address I am TOTALLY lost in NYC. I don’t even understand the four boroughs of the city. Fortunately, Noni, their grandmother, knows it very well, so she just took charge!


The tippy, tippy top... We didn't venture up past the 86th floor. That was high enough :)

Views from the top!



Doesn't this picture make you just want to reach out, lift him up and twirl him around in a great big bear hug!!!

I realized as I spent the day in the city, that NYC is way too big and too impersonal for me. I definitely would not like to have to live there – ever. Everything is so expensive, people are not nice, and I just feel so lost, crowded and dirty when I am there! It was fun to spend the day with the boys there… and maybe if I was a millionaire and had not a care in the world about money, I would enjoy NYC… but other than that, I really am content not being there… or even visiting!


So, the inevitable had come. I had just chosen not to think about it because I hate “good-bye’s”. I am more like a person who thinks… that it’s just going to be a while before I see you again and not a good-bye, but I had to say good-bye to the boys. If it hadn’t been utter chaos when I was leaving, I think it would have been harder, but the boys were being silly and full of energy but tired as well, they had to get ready for dinner with their cousins and there was just a lot going on… so I took that as my chance to make it less hard on me and to just give them a big hug and tell them how wonderful and special they are and that I loved them… and would see them sometime! They didn’t really comprehend how their life was changing now that they were moving back to Boston and I really think just assumed I would be coming along – even though they’ve known for forever I wasn’t. But, just like I’ve been with them for the past five years and then moved to DC just after they did… they didn’t really understand that I wouldn’t see them as often in Boston! I don’t think anything really hit them until they actually got to Boston and started living their “new” life back in Cambridge! For kids that age, they really can’t remember how life was like a year and a half ago!


So, I left and drove back to PA. I was sad, my heart definitely hurt as I was thinking about them, but I had learned a good lesson recently. Don’t regret or feel sad about the past. It’s over and done with and change is good. BUT, what you can do is be so grateful for what you’ve been able to do and for the people that have been in your life. Remember all the fun times you had with them and be grateful for it! I’ve really tried to do this and it has REALLY helped and made a huge difference on my outlook on all the change in my life in general! Sometimes I yearn for the past and my heart hurts for the way things were. It’s just so much better to think about the HAPPY times and how grateful I am for them!


I spent the weekend with my mom and then drove back to DC on Sunday… because she was following two days later on Tuesday to come meet me for our trip out west to Seattle and ALASKA!!! (Next Post... in a few days)

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Where have I been? Not in DC, that's for sure.
More posts on that to come... but I heard this song on the radio the week before I turned 30 and since turning 30 seems like it should be a "significant" life event, I thought I would do a blog about it because it got me thinking….

Turning 30 really hasn’t been too traumatic for me one way or the other. I have friends who were fearful, in a way, of turning 30 because it made them feel so old, and others who were so excited to finally leave their 20’s behind and embrace a new decade. For me… it’s kind of just been like just another year and I guess I’ve tried to think of it that way rather than having too many expectations or too few. I don't feel any different, but I guess I'd still like to claim being in my 20s. However, just taking life one day at a time and being grateful for the blessings I have rather than lamenting on what I’d like to have has been very helpful in remaining positive and hopeful for my next 30 years!

But, having goals for the future is always a good thing too. So, when I heard this song about the singer’s next 30 years, I thought about what I’d like for my next 30 years. (song lyrics in italics, mine in regular... and at the end is a link to the song!)

I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age...
The ending of an era, and the turning of a page...
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here...
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years...

(Oh yes – Celebrate I did!! For my 30th birthday I went with my mom to Seattle and then on a cruise to Alaska all week long! But, yes, HF, please have mercy on my next 30 years!)

Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna have some fun...

(Yes!! My next 30 years will definitely include more travel in my life, and more time acting like a child… not caring what others think of me and just having FUN!)

Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done...

(Why think about my past mistakes… look forward to my future!)

Maybe now I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears... And I’ll do it better in my next thirty years...

(One of my adolescent fears was what other people thought of me and really wanting them to like me (a.k.a… thinking I was cool!)… but with age and maturity I’m slowly realizing that it really doesn’t matter. All that matters is what I think of me and that I am doing the right thing so that the Lord is pleased with me too!)

My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores...

(Fortunately, I don’t think I really have too many, if any, to settle!)

Cry a little less, laugh a little more...

(The day before my birthday I learned a powerful lesson. I was visiting my grandmother in her living center and her friend joined us for lunch. Her friend, Skipper, is FULL of life! She was singing, laughing like a silly school girl, and just really having a good time with herself (because my mom and I sure weren’t being comedians!) Well, during our conversation when we were trying to get to know her she said to my mom: “I don’t want to be here (the living center). Who does? But, what am I going to do? Walk around and be mopey and miserable? NO! I am going to make the best of it, enjoy life and be happy!” And, Skipper was true to her word. The entire time we were there, she was having more fun than any of us… because of her attitude! Laughter is the key to happiness in life. Here is a picture of Skipper…

Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear...

(I hope so…)

Figure out just what I’m doing here... In my next thirty years...

(Well, I don’t know if I will ever figure out what my purpose, or my role, is in life… but I do promise to try and figure it out!)

Oh my next thirty years, I’m gonna watch my weight...

(Yep – I enjoy being physically active… but it’s such a battle with food because I LOVE good food as well! However, I know there are some bad habits in my life that I can change and feel healthier doing so! Recently, I cut back significantly on drinking caffeinated soda… and it’s been incredible noticing a difference in the way my body feels. And now, I really don’t even like the taste of diet coke anymore! I haven’t cut caffeine out of my body completely… but definitely less of it!

Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late...

(The salad eating won’t be hard for me… but staying up late can be. However, I’ve noticed how much better my body feels when I keep to a sleep schedule and esp when I get up early and get going, I feel SOOO much better! If I stay up late, I feel like the next day my body just never really wakes up and I am dying for a nap by mid-afternoon!)

Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers... Maybe I’ll remember my next thirty years...
(Well, this has never really been a problem for me, I am happy to say) J

My next thirty years will be the best years of my life...

(YES!!!!!!!!!!)
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife...

(Let’s change that too husband… and YES!!!!! This is my deepest desire!!!)
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear...

(YES!!!!!!!!)
Make up for lost time here, in my next thirty years...

(YES!!!!!!!!)
In my next thirty years...

(I know so much will happen in my next 30 years and I am looking forward to it!!


And finally, a link to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imsm-jIjVio


Sunday, July 25, 2010

What am I really accomplishing?

What will I think is one of my greatest accomplishments when I am 80?

That the counters were clean and that I was very diligent in checking my news feed on facebook once a day?

I think not.

Good article to remind me what's most important!
http://simplehomeschool.net/on-being-busy-or-being-full-how-can-we-tell-the-difference/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+SimpleHomeschool+%28Simple+Homeschool&utm_content=Google+Reader

Saturday, July 24, 2010

WOOT!!!! WOOT!!!! I got a job!!!!!

YIPPEEE! Today I got a job offer and it felt SO right to accept it!

"Things work out. they always do" is a quote I say to myself everyday, but sometimes the faith and belief is a little (or majorly lacking!)

I have been so blessed with every job I've ever had (truly)... from Chopsticks in the Cougareat (where I worked with my roommate), Marketplace cafe (where I got to work with my best friend! and talk to cute business students, to F.A.R.M.S (where I met so many amazing people, to the Belfer Center (which led me to Juliette), to the past incredible 5 years working for their family while earning my masters degree and then working as a school counselor. It is because of them providing me the opportunity to move down here and had such a fabulous year... and now it is because of them that I have my new job!!

Up until a month ago I would have told you I was only looking for school counselor jobs for the fall. Yes, I enjoy school counseling, but as I thought about this past year I realized how much MORE I loved my days with the kids! It was like I wasn't even working I enjoyed the days so much (mostly!) Well, thinking I couldn't make enough to live off of what a nanny makes, I had it in the back of my mind as a fallback for a job in case I didn't get a school counseling one. I knew I would do whatever I had to do to make ends meet.

Well, I ferociously applied for all school counseling jobs I saw in the past three months, but the number of jobs offered was SIGNIFICANTLY less than any other year I've seen. People are not retiring and schools are watching the budgets and counselors are not as essential as teachers!

So, about a month ago I was talking to a friend who hated her current job and hated to go to work. Of course, not being in the situation, I thought the solution was simple. QUIT and find something that makes your happy! Do you really want to do something you hate for the next 30 years?! Easier said than done.

BUT, as I thought about it, I realized this is what I was doing. I LIKED school counseling, but I didn't LOVE it! I LOVE nannying! So, I thought I'd give it a try while still pursuing the school counseling thing. I got lots of interviews with families by word of mouth... and I applied to a few local agencies. I feel like I have interviewed with almost any type of family dynamic and have witnessed a lot of parenting styles. I quickly determined I was going to be picky because I didn't want just ANY nanny job, I wanted to enjoy the kids and feel like I could have a good working relationship with the parents because you really do almost become like a member of their family!

I was sad to see how many parents were so "hands off" with their kids. Even if they got home early one day from work, they didn't want to get involved with the kids until they had been fed and bathed and ready for bed. Only then could the nanny step back and let them put their kids to bed. Or, how many times I saw a child ask mom or dad for help to get their attention, but they just kept saying "in a minute" while they were on their blackberry's and that minute never came. Or, one family told me that they call their nanny "mom" because that's what she really is to them.

These families were not for me. I wanted parents who realized the value of having a nanny, but also realized their role as parents and that when they are home they WANT to be involved with their kids! I also wanted a family that was very open about communication and expectations, but provided the nanny with flexibility and trusted her... NOT hovering or being a helicopter parent. I wanted a family that had set rules and expectations for kids, limited the yelling as much as possible and tried positive, proactive discipline. Also, I didn't want to work 60 hours a week in order to make ends meet.

I knew this would be hard to find... and I was about to settle for a family which would have been OK, but they didn't meet all of my ideals above and I would have had to be a live-in... which i wasn't too thrilled about either)

BUT, THEN!!!! Juliette mentioned to me last weekend that she had just found out her friend was looking for a new nanny. My style is to not at least pursue every avenue till I know it's a NO, so I said I would love to meet with them! On Wed, Juliette's neighbor called me (who I know very well) and told me she's best friends with this mom and just emailed them a recommendation for me. She said I would be a fool to not work for them!! :)

I met with the mom yesterday morning and was pleased with what they were looking for in a nanny and it also seemed like they valued their nanny more than many families I interviewed with. After our conversation we agreed that I would come to meet her husband and the kids today.

Well, I spent two hours with them today and was impressed with their family from the moment I walked in the door! I had a string feeling that this was the right job for me (if they felt the same in return and offered it to me!)

I start the Monday after I get back from my Alaskan Cruise and I just feel SO BLESSED and so fortunate. I can't wait to see what this new opportunity brings!! And, I also have Juliette to thank for it! And, the Lord too :)

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Never say Never... My first earthquake!!

So, I never thought DC would have as bad as a winter as we has this year. But, even more so, I would have placed a bet that DC would never have an earthquake that I could actually feel!!

(Yes, I know anyone on the west coast can laugh their way through this post as you would probably sleep right through it as being an everyday experience!!)

But, at 5 AM Friday morning (July 16th!) I was in my first earthquake! I had spent the night at Juliette's and I woke up and literally thought the boys were RUNNING like crazy through the house at 5 AM (which they never do, but I wouldn't put it past them :) It seemed to only be for about 20 sec., but I felt the house walls shaking. It also sounded like a plane was going to land in our front yard, a train going through our front yard, or there was an explosion outside (all thoughts I didn't want to have at 5 AM). I did think for a minute if that's what an earthquake might feel like, but then realized I was in the basement and everything would topple on me, so I quickly tried to forget that thought...

But, I was right! My very first (and what I hope to be ONLY) earthquake! No damage... the best kind of earthquake if we must have one!

http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local-beat/36-Magnitude-Earthquake-Shakes-DC-Region-98589124.html

And, as a funny side note... there were emails sent around about what to do if you are in an earthquake and the suggestion for those who were in bed sleeping was to put a pillow over your face. Somehow, to me, being in the basement, I didn't think a pillow was going to help much if the entire house came crumbling down on me. But, maybe it would. I'd rather not test it out though!!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Perspective

It REALLY all comes down to this:

“It is vital to know that there really is a God, that there really is a Savior, Jesus Christ, that there really is impending immortality for all men, that there really will be a judgment with genuine personal accountability, and that there
really is purpose in life and a divine plan of happiness for man.

“When we know such basic truths as these, then we know what really matters, how to approach life and how to view man in the universe. There is great power in perspective. Therefore, the adverb ‘really,’ as used by Jacob [ Jacob 4:13 ], is deeply significant” (Neal A. Maxwell, Things As They Really Are, 4).



Wednesday, June 16, 2010

What brings happiness?

Happiness.

What makes one happy? Or, how can one be consistently happy? This has been on my mind a lot lately. Of course, I know that being obedient to the commandments and covenants we make brings happiness, and that the plan of salvation brings happiness, but what about all that day to day stuff not related to religion and faith. What of that brings happiness?

Over the past many, many years, researchers, psychologists and economists have tried to figure out what makes one happy, or what makes an entire nation happy. I googled “happiness’ and found entire websites and blogs dedicated to helping people discover their true happiness. The official wikipedia definition is: Happiness is a state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, love, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy, and research galore! Webster defines it as good fortune/prosperity (which I thought was very interesting); a state of well-being and contentment; a pleasurable or satisfying experience. I think I agree most with the middle definition of “a state of well-being and contentment.”

Recently I asked friends for some book suggestions and someone suggested a book by Eric Weiner entitled: The Geography of Bliss: One Grump's Search for the Happiest Places in the World. I liked the title a lot and thought it would be a humorous book as well as intriguing with my recent reflections on “happiness”. The book is basically about the author’s search for what makes a nation happy? Is one country's sense of happiness the same as anothers? He chose his destinations in the world by going through all the research – I didn’t even know there is an academic journal entitled “Journal of Happiness Studies” because there is such a focus on this topic right now!! Currently Americans are somewhere in between the happiest and the unhappiest nations. I was shocked to find that Iceland is one of the happiest considering for major parts of the year it’s too cold to even LIVE and it’s DARK!

In his book, Eric speaks about the U.S. obsession with happiness relative to our country’s founding documents ~ Life, Liberty, and The Pursuit of Happiness ~ “We suffer from the unhappiness of not being happy,” Eric says. I believe this is really true! There is this pressure and added stress on us in America to figure out WHY we’re not happy, if that is the case, because gosh darn-it, life isn’t worth living if you’re not 100% happy every minute of everyday … and it’s all your fault! On his travels, Eric observed that other countries obsess about happiness less and tend to be happier for it. He spoke about the great paradox of happiness ~ “It’s a ghost, it’s a shadow. You can’t really chase it. It’s a by-product, a very pleasant side effect to a life lived well.”

He also found it refreshing and happiness-inducing to be introduced to other cultures, and reminded that our American values are not the only/best values -- in fact, they're often counterproductive in the search for happiness. It's an obvious statement, of course, but there are definite things we can learn from other cultures: not to fear failure, not to over-analyze our own happiness to death, not to deny the inevitability of the moment.

He goes to Thailand, and finds that not thinking is their method of being happy! He comes up with a

“Be Thai” Happiness Recipe:

*Don’t obsess about happiness;
*Don’t think too much;
*Put much effort into life, but lower your results expectations;
*Don’t be envious; and
*Cultivate trust and relationship

…. Hmmmm. Some of those are interesting, but I think I agree with all of them!

Gross National Happiness (GNH) - He goes to the tiny Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan, and discovers they have an official policy of Gross National Happiness! Did another wikipedia search and basically found that the concept of gross national happiness (GNH) was developed in an attempt to define an indicator that measures quality of life or social progress in more holistic and psychological terms than the economic forecaster gross national product or GDP. GNH is a strong contributor to the movement to discard measurements of commercial transactions as a key indicator and to instead directly assess changes in the social and psychological well-being of populations.” Read more about it here... but interestingly it serves as a unifying vision for Bhutan's five-year planning process and all the derived planning documents that guide the economic and development plans of the country. Proposed policies in Bhutan must pass a GNH review based on a GNH impact statement!

Work/Life Balance? --Interesting research I also found: Data shows that another important factor in a nation’s happiness is work-life balance. While Scandinavian countries boast a high GDP per capita, the average workweek in that part of the world is no more than 37 hours. In China, which got a low score of just 14.8, the workweek is 47 hours and the GDP per capita is just $3,600. Hmm….. I think this is one problem in America!! Another would be unemployment. (UH-OH… this is soon to be me!) Research has found that low unemployment also contributes to happiness. Denmark's unemployment rate is just 2%, according the C.I.A.'s World Factbook. Norway's is just 2.6%. The Netherlands: just 4.5%. Many economists concur that a 4% unemployment rate reflects a stable economy. The U.S. unemployment rate is currently 9.7% and that’s only lower than it has been recently because of the 500,000 temporary census workers hired (of which my mom is one of them… and that’s stories for another post I should have her write!! Stories to make you laugh and cry… stories that also make you wonder what the census organizers are doing for 9 years in preparation because it all seems VERY disorganized!)

Think Differently?
One major lesson the author learned along his way was that people in foreign countries think differently. Why would this matter, I thought? I know they dressed differently, ate differently, talked differently, but understanding that they THINK differently is important, he explains. Not only should it make one more understanding and tolerant to know this, but maybe thinking, but not thinking too much, has an impact on our happiness?!

In America, the majority believe that thinking and analysis are important, but the Thais don't think so. One of their expressions is ‘Don't think too much.’ J As I thought about this I found virtue and value in it! I know, CRAZY thinking on my part. I work in a school. My job is to promote education and THINKING! And I do. I think that examining ideas, literature, cultures, politics, etc. is very important. However, I think many of us have taken it too far and we OVERTHINK. My mom loves to watch these news programs where all they do is talk and debate all day! It drives me CRAZY. I think you should listen to the facts and then decide for yourself—and that’s that. Maybe listen to a few others share their thoughts and opinions, but MY WORD, why debate and argue all day long just to prove you’re right?! Why debate and argue in the first place? Or, overthink something until you can’t decide how you feel about it and it becomes a stumbling block in your life.

Another example of this is the show Seinfeld. Yes, this show is funny but it also drives me crazy too! They spend the entire show talking about nothing, nitpicking every detail of everything and no one seems to be very happy. If we OVER THINK, I THINK this is a good example of how it leads us to misery!

And, I am not saying we should be ignorant or close/small-minded. But, why think and worry so much about things that are of no matter to you? Or, recently I heard the best advice and try to remember it everyday. DON’T think or worry about things you CAN’T control!!! Ha, ha… one of the best comments in the book was his noting that they don't sell a lot of self-help books in Thailand, or England, or anywhere else really other than the U.S. And, I’ll admit. I am a succor for them!

At the end of his book, Weiner's concludes: "Money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. … A little bit of money will buy you a lot of happiness, but a lot of money won’t buy you much more.

Side note: According to a 2005 editorial, published in the British Medical Journal and authored by Dr. Tony Delamothe, research done in Mexico, Ghana, Sweden, the U.S. and the U.K. shows that individuals typically get richer during their lifetimes, but not happier. It is family, social and community networks that bring joy to one's life, according to Delamothe.

Back to his final thought: “Family is important. So are friends. Envy is toxic. So is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude....Our happiness is completely and utterly intertwined with other people: family and friends and neighbors and the woman you hardly notice who cleans your office. …

Happiness is not a noun or a verb.

It’s a conjunction. Connective tissue.

I LOVE THAT. And firmly believe from my own personal life that it’s true.

"Happiness is one hundred percent relational,"

as also stated by one of his interviewees, Karma Ura, Bhutanese scholar and cancer survivor. We can only be happy with other people, because happiness does not exist in a vacuum. This also relates to his recipe for happiness. There are the basic ingredients (as mentioned above) but there are variations on the recipe depending on where you live in the world because of cultural influences. The author compares happiness to the atom carbon: arrange it one way and it is coal. Arrange it another, and it is a diamond… but in the end, in my opinion it all comes down to people. The people we’re around every day, those who love us and we love in return… and all the others that cross our paths along the way… how do we treat them and what is … our relationship with them??