Friday, July 18, 2008

Say it. Just say what you need to say.

I was at the gym earlier this week and saw that they were playing "The Bucket List". I am avid morning news fan, so I decided to watch the news as usual, but the summary posted for the movie caught my eye. (Of course, having a young and very good-looking news anchor helped in my decision!!)

Movie Summary: "Corporate billionaire Edward Cole and working class mechanic Carter Chambers have nothing in common except for their terminal illnesses. While sharing a hospital room together, they decide to leave it and do all the things they have ever wanted to do before they die according to their bucket list. In the process, both of them heal each other, become unlikely friends, and ultimately find the joy in life.So, last night I decided to rent it."

So, last night I decided to rent it. Not the happiest movie I've ever seen, but it had a powerful message.

It's a movie with a message about life. A message about living intentionally and with purpose. The viewer is left with a challenge... a challenge to prepare his own "bucket list". What would you do if you only had six months to live? But, the questions that stuck out most in my mind was "Would you change anything about you?" and "What would you change about some of the relationships in your life?" To me, the relationships in my life are some of the most important things in my life.

Additionally, I've heard the song "Say" by John Mayer on the radio a lot, but never knew it was associated with this movie. At the end of the film, this song plays with the credits. As I was thinking about the questions listed above I heard these lyrics... (I hope this isn't illegal to post them on my blog!)

"Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all your so called problems
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say (x7)
Say what you need to saaaay...

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead

If you could only
Say what you need to say (x7)
Say what you need to saaay...

Have no fear
For giving in
Have no fear
For giving over
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Then never to say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open... wide...

Say what you need to say (x7)
Say what you need to
Say what you need to
Say what you need to say..."

Needless to say, "Say what you need to say" is repeated MANY, many times. And, it wasn't until last night that I actually thought about this message.

Yes, I really do think there are times when you just need to hold your tongue and keep quiet. These are times when you're going to criticize someone or hurt their feelings. BUT, there are also many times I've held my tongue and now regret it. Most of these times were in telling people how much they meant/mean to me... or that I love them... or to express my true feelings.

And, why? Why am I afraid to express my true feelings? A few times I've literally had my "hands shaking", but only good has come from it and I am grateful to have had the courage to "Say what I need to say". Maybe things haven't always turned out how I would have thought... but I've definitely felt peace afterwards... and I LIVE for that feeling. PEACE!

Specifically, I have been thinking a lot about an experience earlier this year. It had taken me about 3.5 years to "Say What I need to say"... and, finally, I did it. I DID IT! Yep, my hands were shaking (!), but... the following is so true

"You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much
Then never to say what you need to say..."

I needed to say what I needed to say, and the words needed to be heard. And, yep, the outcome to this point has not been what I would have wanted, but watching this movie and hearing this song confirmed, yet again, in my mind that I am grateful I said what I needed to say... and hope that I do it more often!


Unknown said...

Now I want to go listen to that song and watch the movie...good message! I usually say too much!

Sarah said...

I love that song, and it's such an awesome message too. You know I'm a firm believer in just getting those feelings out there Cara. I know we haven't been up to date on each other's lives, so I don't know EXACTLY what it is that you had to say, but way to go for saying it. Even if "your hands are shaking," once you say things, overcoming that does bring you peace. You never have to wonder "what if I didn't." I'm grateful for never having to wonder that. I sure say a LOT though (evidence in this comment). Love, Sarah

michelle said...

I love this post. I love in John Mayers song when he says, "it's better to say too much than to never say what you mean to say." For so long I always held back in saying how I really felt but I do much better now and it does leave me with less regret.