Awkward!!!

Sometimes, I just have to laugh. If not, I am not sure how I would get through life most days :)

This past Thursday evening, was one of those times... partly because I can't believe I am still in the single dating world! 

I was on what would technically be defined as a "date" with someone whom I truly admire for many different reasons. We attended an AMAZING production at Georgetown University. 

 It's a music and dance production by children from Uganda (ages 10-18). They practice for months to come and share Uganda's and East Africa's vibrant culture with America. They are here for almost 2 months and many of them have never been on a plane, never seen the snow or the ocean, etc., so this opportunity is truly amazing for them. 

On a side note: I read some of the brochure before the show started. Many of these children have lost both parents, and siblings to AIDS or other illness. They have overcome amazing obstacles. And, yet, they are filled with HOPE, SMILES, and JOY. It made me really think about all the blessings I have in my life and how much I truly take for granted. I was touched by their stories and inspired and uplifted by their smiles and their zest for life!

Below is one picture from their blog. You should check it out to see others... and they're still on tour for the next month so maybe they're coming to a town near you!  http://touroflight.blogspot.com/

On average they do two, maybe three shows a day. (school children during the day) They all have amazing voices, and both the girls and the guys are BUFF. Honestly. I was in awe of the way they move their bodies (and how quickly!) as well as how fast their hands beat those drums. OH -MY-WORD!! It was an amazing experience!

Back to my story. During the production, there was one male individual who kind of provided us with verbal entertainment and explanation about each dance before it began. He had a heavy Ugandan accent, but he was fun and interesting to listen to. He liked to joke around with the audience and I appreciated that.

Well, before one song he started talking about how we should tell each other more often how much we love and appreciate them. His point was that in America we don't express our feelings enough to others. He had a valid point. But, he went on to tell the audience that everyone had to turn to their neighbor and while looking them in the eye, tell them that they LOVE them! Ha, ha!!! My "date" and I were sitting next to each other, but nobody was on either side of us, so we couldn't even joke and say it to some stranger first. And then the performer repeated it a few times in order to get his point across and make sure everyone was doing it!

IT WAS THE LONGEST 45 SECONDS OF MY LIFE

It felt like 5 minutes, but I know it wasn't that long. Everyone else was doing it to their friends, family or significant others... or there were kids sitting next to kids and they thought it was funny. But I just could not bring myself to do it in this silly, awkward single world I still live in! I just laughed and looked around to the other side of me because I couldn't even look at him while it was going on. Maybe this is why I am still single... I don't even know how to handle awkward moments! UGH! This is also one of the reasons that I firmly believe there has to be divine intervention for me to even have the chance for someone to want to marry me!

So, ha, ha... just had to laugh and hope that at some point in my life, this can happen again and it won't be

AWKWARD!

Profound Thoughts from Steve Job

This post is a while in the making. A while ago I ran across a speech he gave at Stamford and I found his thoughts to have a profound effect on me. He puts is out there in such a down-to-earth, straight forward manner. I love it!

Quote 1: "I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me."

There have been a few times in my life when I have experienced some true disappointments in my life. Whether it be making a sports team, being accepted in to a program, or being offered a job... to mention a few. Each time, when I am in the moment of the disappointment, I often question HF and tell him... 'This is a good thing I wanted... why didn't I get it!!!" I am frustrated... mostly because I lack faith and let doubt enter my mind that HF is aware of me and what's best for me. 

HOWEVER, looking back, in each instance I can remember this happening, something better has come along, or I have been able to see WHY that would not have been a good option for me. Just like for Steve Jobs. ... Wish I could have that insight and faith from the moment it actually happens!

Quote 2: "It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."

I love this quote. Simply because this is what I have been struggling with for the past 6 months or so. I haven't found yet  what I love. OK - no that's wrong. I know WHAT my heart really wants to do, but that requires me being married. So, I've been on a search for what I could love in 2nd place. I've realized that elementary school counseling is not really my "LOVE". Yes, I can do it. Yes, I love some of the perks of being a teacher. 

BUT, my heart just isn't there to have the passion to really put for 100% every day. 

I don't regret going to get my MEd. I am glad I did what I did and where it has led me. I also feel like I learned many things I can apply to my life in general and the work I am doing now... but I also know that my current position is not my career goal. It's just a "layover" to my next destination. 

BUT, WHAT? Oh - I have so many ideas of things I think would be "fun", but am I really going to LOVE it?!! I am not getting any younger... and don't want to settle on getting more education to then get a job that I am waking up eventually saying, "Not another day!" I envy those that knew what they wanted to do from when they were in high school! That has not been the case for me. So, as Steve suggests... I am going to keep looking!!

Quote 3: "When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something."

Yep - Definitely have felt that in my life at times. I think there's something to say for making the best of the situation you're in. And, there are certain things I don't have control over... but if I do... GOSH darn it! I need to have more courage to change it and NOT get stuck in a rut that I have been at times in my life.

Quote 4: "Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."

 This means FAITH in my book. Faith and trust. That's what I am still working on....

Sometimes I just have to laugh

This weekend, the parents of the kids I nanny for are out of town, so I've had them for the past 24 hours. A little bit more exhausting when I have them ALL day and they're not in school for at least part of it :) 

But, anyway. Last night as we sat down to our elegant dinner of pizza and frozen veggies heated in the microwave, the 6 year old girl looked at me and said, "Can I ask you a question." "Sure!", I responded. 

"When are you going to get married?"

Ha, ha! I've been asked this by kids before, so I just smiled and said. "I don't know. I haven't met my future husband yet, or maybe I have, and I just don't know it! Do you have anyone in mind?" 

She looked at me very seriously and said all the guys she knew were too young for me to marry, but she did have some advice. She then proceeded to do a role play with me of how I should go up and approach random guys that I thought were cute... introduce myself to them... and then ask them if they'd like to go on a date with me. Ha!!! Only if it were that simple. We did this as she gave a few different scenarios of where I might be and meet new guys at the same time... grocery store, out running on the sidewalk, in a movie theater. It was quite funny, but she actually had a few good points for being 6 years old. I'll have to think more about it.

But, THEN! This morning about ten minutes before we had to leave to go to their Jewish Sunday School, she comes down and grabs this red stamp pad from where the art supplies are. Concerned as to where this was going, she said she was drawing in her room and wanted to stamp a few things. I didn't necessarily like the idea, but agreed knowing we were leaving in a few minutes and how much could go wrong in that time?!! So, I said OK. Two minutes before we needed to be in the car I asked the kids to come down and get their shoes on. 

This little girl comes running down the stairs exclaiming that she fell over something in her room and fell right on her eye! I looked at her and tried not to laugh. She had literally taken the red ink and smeared it in a very large circle all around one of her eyes. She started to give me this long story of how she keeps falling and she doesn't know why! Like I needed to take her to the doctor or something (because she had fallen while running in the yard the day before)

What?

Does she think I can't put two and two together? 

Is this a plot to get out of going to Sunday School?!!

Slightly annoyed now because of the time, I didn't play along. I said as I grabbed her and walked her to the sink to start scrubbing her face:

"A: You're not crying

B. This red blotch on your face is in a very nice circular pattern

C. You just took the stamp pad upstairs

D. You have Red ink on your hands

E. And, voila! This is all washing off with soap and water.

Get in the car. We're now late. "

I don't even remember how she replied. I pretended to be annoyed and not happy that she made us all late, but on the inside I was cracking up and appreciated her creativity!

What is happening to me?! Something must be VERY wrong!

On Friday, I had a stressful day at work. 

I was tired and worn out. 

And, all I wanted to do was go home and 

Cook??!!!!

I thought it would help relieve some of my stress.

So, yes. That is how I spent my Friday evening.  

What's up with that?! I'm famous for not making anything except if it can be quickly done in the microwave. I've always detested cooking. I just never really had the patience for it (all that measuring, stirring, etc., and thought it was just too time consuming, especially for only one person eating it. 

But, since I've been in my new apartment, I've started to invite people over for dinner and I have embraced a little bit of cooking! I still don't make anything extravagant, but I have been impressed with a few of the things I have made!

So, I found a few recipes I wanted to try and went to work. Usually I get most of my recipes online from allrecipes.com, but I found a new website seems to have more simplified ones. It's called sparkrecipies... and most of them are healthy too! 

The cooking was fun and did help relieve some of my stress! 

Well, this first recipe I found a few months ago and love it, so I make it about once a month (or more!) I love cornbread in general, but this recipe uses biscuit baking mix so it's moist and just tastes yummy! 

Then, I've been on a pumpkin kick recently and found a few other recipes I wanted to try in the near future, but I was curious about this recipe and wanted to try it. It's a crustless (or self making crust)... and since I don't like regular pie crust anyway, I just had to try it! It worked!

Then, I also used my crockpot and made this recipe. Another spark recipe. I didn't take a picture, but I give it 4.5 stars and will definitely make it again!

Gosh, I don't know whats happening to me, but my fridge is full! Everything was made pretty quick too... which I loved!

Holland's Blessing

I wasn't able to be there for her blessing on Christmas day, but I just had to post pictures of this little cutie! She looks so small and tiny in her beautiful dress, but for 4 months she's grown A LOT! Evan and Madison said that she really hated wearing her dress and that she literally cried almost every moment until it was taken off. And, then she cried during the entire blessing as well, since she had the dress on! Hmmm... I wonder if this means she'll be like her aunt in the future and really not like dressing up and wearing dresses!

What a cute family!