Back in January, I wrote this post. Ironically, as events have happened in my life over the past few weeks, my thoughts on this topic have changed.
Why not tell someone I love them if I really do? Ok – maybe not in a pre-dating situation… it might still be a bit awkward for me, but here are my thoughts.
I would never say I am an outwardly affectionate person, especially in public. I tend to shy away expressing my affection verbally for others… such as by saying “I Love You”. Why, I don’t know. But, even among family members I shy away from it. And, why? I am not worried that my statement will be rejected. I know they love me. Maybe it’s because it lets my guard down in a way, and shows that I am vulnerable and needy because I would like for them to say it in return…?
My little brother, however, has always been great with this. He’ll always be the first to say, “I Love You” whenever we part, whether it’s on the phone or in person. Because he says it so often, he’s started to get me more in the habit of doing so, but really only after he says it!
However, over the past few weeks as my mom’s voice became weak, or sometimes she wasn’t very coherent, I knew that she would always recognize my voice. Sometimes I would tell her things and she just couldn’t reply, or she would be confused about a simple everyday thing I was telling her, but whenever I looked her in the eye and told her I loved her, she would look me back in the eye and tell me she loved me… and I knew she knew what she was saying and that she meant it.
Because she was so fragile, I never left her without saying those three words… sometimes a couple of times. And, whenever she could talk, she would reply the same three words. Even when she was unresponsive and in a medical coma the last day or two, I told her this while squeezing her hand and I truly believe she knew it was me and knew I meant it.
I will treasure that experience - FOREVER
But, that got me thinking. Life is fragile. We can’t tell what’s going to happen five, ten, or 1500 minutes from now. Why not tell someone how we feel about them (if it’s a good feeling!)