Sunday, March 8, 2009

You know you're from Boston when...

A friend had this posted on her Facebook acct. and I thought it was hilarious. But... probably only funny for those who live in Boston! It includes some tips if you're coming here to visit. I've posted some of my own personal thoughts after some of them... (Reading this makes me feel like I've been in Boston WAY too long. What has this city done to me??!!)

The person driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you are cursing him for going too slow. (Well, not cursing them, but complaining about them!)

You actually enjoy driving around rotaries. (Yep, they are fun as long as you don't hesitate)

You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't yell at you when you cut them off or steal their parking space. (Personaly, I haven't done this, but others have done it to me and I want to yell at them!)

You can actually find your way around Boston. (Yes, I can finally, FINALLY, say this is TRUE!)

You get jimmies on your ice cream. (mmmmm....)

Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday. (I never really got to benefit from this since I never worked IN the city... but jealous of my roommates who have!)

You know what First Night is. (Very cool)

You have never been to Cheers. (Yep!)

The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools. (I've read so many kids books about this...!)

You own a "Yankees Suck" shirt or hat. (I don't... yet!)

You know how to make a frappe. (mmm.... love the ones at Friendly's!)

You know what a hoodsie is. (and I even have a few)

You never go to "Cape Cod", you go "down the Cape". (Love Chatham!)

You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day. (One of the best parts of NE)

You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line. (Just as in the storm we're having tonight. Snow to the north, rain to the south... why?)

You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language. (Very true of this city!)

You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater (Not yet, but a few times I would have liked to!)

Know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie and a Frank(ie) (Yep)

You keep an ice scraper and can of de-icer on the floor of your car...year round (Yep! Never needed a de-icer to be able to start my car until this year. Thanks mom for the stocking stuffer!)

You know what candlepin bowling is (not a big fan, but I know what it is)

You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left. (Yes. Almost every day!)

You think three straight days of 80+ temperatures is a heatwave.

You refer to 6 inches of snow as a "dusting." (This winter... that's been very true!)

The weather changes from 70 and sunny to 20 and snowy in under an hour, and you hardly notice. (Like later today for instance...Where, oh where, is spring??)

You don't think you have an attitude. (Nope. I don't :)

You always 'bang a left' as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic always expects it. (ha, ha)

Everything in town is "a five minute walk." (EVERYTHING. I mean EVERYTHING)

You believe using your turn signal is a sign of weakness. (Yep!)

You don't realize that you walk and talk twice as fast as everyone else. (Ummm... I know I do this, but is that a problem?)

You think if someone is nice to you, they must want something or are from out of town. (Ha, ha)


You wear a Harvard sweatshirt.

You ask directions to "Cheers."

You order a grinder and a soda.

You follow soccer.

You pronounce it "Worchester" or Glouchester."

Don't call it Beantown.

Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd.
They'll tow it to Meffa (Medford) or Slumaville (Somerville).

Don't swim in the Charles, no matter what Bill Weld tells you.

Don't sleep in the Common.

Don't wear orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.

There are two State Houses, two
City Halls, two courthouses and two Hancock buildings (one old, one new).

Route 128 is also I-95. It is also I-93.

It's the Sox, The Pats (or Patsies if they're losing), the Seltz, the Broons.

The underground train is not the subway. It's the T and it doesn't run all night

Pay no attention to the street names. There's no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square, no water on Water Street. Back Bay streets are in alphabetical odda. Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth. So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D. (no J)

If the streets are named after trees (Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill. If they're named after poets you're in Wellesley.

(subject to change at any time):
When on a one way street, stay to the right to allow oncoming traffic to pass.

Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.

The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it.

Double park in the North End of Boston, unless triple parking is available.

Learn to swerve abruptly. Boston is the home of slalom driving, thanks to the Registry of Motor Vehicles, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

Breakdown lanes are not for breaking down, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.
Breakdown lanes may also end without warning causing traffic jams as people merge back in.

Never use directional signals when changing lanes. They only warn other drivers to speed up and not let you in.

Making eye contact revokes your right of way.

Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.

Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to ensure inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible. And if a pedestrian ahead of you steps in the road, speed up loudly and chase him back up on the curb. Peds have no rights.

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